My client and I reclined on a velvet love seat, each sipping from a glass of Pinot noir. As we settled in, I asked the question that I always ask at the beginning of a date: “Is there anything in particular you’re looking forward to about our time together?” My client smiled with just a hint of shyness. Over the course of our conversation, they gradually began to relax, and I learned about their unique desires, fantasies, and boundaries. I felt my own excitement begin to build—a natural result of knowing exactly what I should focus on to provide a special and memorable date.
Then came the question that always leaves me tongue-tied: “So, what do you like, Jen?”
I bit my lip hard and thought even harder. Eventually, I landed on one response or another: “Almost everything!”, or perhaps, “I like what you like”. Every answer I could come up with felt like a cop-out, no matter how true it was. (I am indeed a versatile lover with a great many likes, and what’s more, I live to please.) Still, I couldn’t see a viable alternative to the vagueness. What was I meant to do—supply a lengthy list of disparate activities, moods, dynamics, settings … ? Such broad appetites defied succinct description, it seemed.
I knew that I needed a better answer to this question, and I mulled over the matter for months. The first step was taking inventory of all the things I like the most: a simple, bullet-point list that eventually grew to span over three pages. (That list will remain private for the sake of discretion … But I certainly wouldn’t mind discussing it in-person.)
From there, I was able to draw connections and identify patterns between the multitude of things I enjoy. I became better able to articulate not just what I like, but why I like it.
Ultimately, three major themes emerged from this reflective exercise: anticipation, exploration, and connection.
Anticipation
My favorite kinds of touch to receive are light, teasing, and build up anticipation for later deeds—or they’re slow, deliberate, and intense, utilizing the reprieve between sensations to build up anticipation for the intensity of the next one. With sufficient build up, I can even enjoy over-stimulation. And of course, I also enjoy receiving a nice massage—who doesn’t?
Exploration
I have a background in kink and often enjoy both gentle domming as well as being gently dommed—delicious ways to explore a dynamic under a different light. I try to bring a playful energy to dates as well, which pairs perfectly with my specialization in roleplay.
Connection
I am first and foremost a giver. It brings me pleasure to know that I’m pleasing you. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy being receptive—I very much do. (See the above section on anticipation!) Above all else, though, I enjoy really getting to know another person and exploring what makes that connection unique.
Of course, these themes are all widely open to interpretation—and that’s the best part. Defining my “likes” as thematic categories (rather than as some kind of checklist) leaves room for variety by design, as well as for discovery and emergent desire. And variety is the spice of life, or so they say.
